You Say…

 

You say that you love rain, but you open your umbrella when it rains. You say that you love the sun, but you find a shadow spot when the sun shines. You say that you love the wind, but you close your windows when wind blows. This is why I am afraid, you say that you love me too.
– William Shakespeare

Three Parts Blood, One Part Magic

Ellen Von Unwerth

3 Months ago my little sister and I embarked on a 4 week-long road trip around part of America. It was the culmination of months of planning, daydreaming and excitement. For my sister the road trip was a stop over on the way to her new life in Monaco, France.

I think there is no better way to recharge your batteries than to go on a trip with family, a best friend or similar. It flips everything back up the right way, it’s like a sigh of relief.

My sister is my sigh of relief. Always.

As long as I live, I’ll never forget the sight of her walking through the gates at LAX. I was finally reunited with my favorite person in the world; my Sister-friend.

The trip started in Los Angeles with a rain-soaked drive up the PCH to Morro Bay for our first night. We were both horribly hung over, and I was exhausted from concentrating to stay on the correct side of the road, so we were in bed early (not the stuff of great road trip stories right?) The next day we spent another rain-soaked morning exploring Hearst Castle and being totally amazed by the sheer opulence, it was truly beautiful, and it’s always fun to pretend you are a princess for a morning.

Next stop was San Francisco, a truly gorgeous city with a fun vibe. We spent most of our time eating, drinking, looking at buildings and walking around. I’ll be heading back there sometime soon for sure.

We then flew to Bellingham, Washington for our first ever Christmas with our American family! It was such a special time, and so lovely to spend quality time with our Grandparents, we still talk it about it all the time and it really goes to show how very precious family time is. We also had a rollicking great time with our ‘American brothers’ who are friends from waaaaay back, resulting in a fab night out in Seattle, drinking Sweet Tea shots at Kells bar near Pike Place Markets (if you haven’t been, then go!)

The second part of the trip began with New Year’s eve in Las Vegas. We had sinful amounts of fun, stayed at the MGM and loved it. We ended up hanging out with a couple of Australian guys we met one night, so that was great fun too. We basically spent the whole time drinking, dancing, laughing, gambling, walking around, eating and sleeping. I don’t think there is anything else you can do in Vegas right? The New Year was brought in on the strip underneath Planet Hollywood, it was a magical moment; fireworks, my sister, new friends, a gigantic pink drink, glitter and laughter. We had done it, it was one of those “Holy shit this is really happening moments.” Pure happiness. I knew then that 2011 was going to be a great year, a new start in foreign new places for my sister and I. Needless to say there was toast to ‘being scared shitless but doing it anyway.’

We left Vegas for the Hoover Dam and Grand Canyon. We had just missed a massive snow storm so it was pretty icy and scary to drive on, but with my sister’s encouragement I did it! Sister power will conquer all things, including the elements. The Canyon was phenomenal…and big, yes I know but really, that thing is HUGE! I would recommend making the trip there, it’s totally awe-inspiring. We then had a long 9 hour drive ahead of us to get to Silver City, New Mexico. The road stretched on and on, and I’ve never seen small towns like the ones we came across! I swear, many people in these places had never heard of New Zealand, making my sister and I feel like some kind of rare exotic bird, it was truly hilarious! Silver City was gorgeous, small and just what our poor broken bodies needed after our time in Vegas. We ate organic salads the whole time, didn’t touch a drop of alcohol and had the best time with our family, we spent our last night at a folk concert in a place called Pino Altos at a 100-year-old Opera house. It was so stunning! I want to return and drink Martini’s again! It was a gorgeous time and the city is so quant and charming.

The last part of the trip was a night in Tucson Arizona followed by a night in Phoenix. We screwed up our reservation in Tucson and headed straight to Phoenix, stopping at the Desert museum along the way, that place is so cool, miles and miles of Desert and cool animals, like nothing I’ve seen before! Luckily we took a wrong turn on our way to Phoenix and drove through the Saguaro Cactus forest, now that was a sight!

I won’t mention Phoenix because it was the last night of the trip so it was sad anyways, but it was also a totally miss-able city. In fact, I would say most of Arizona is totally miss-able, I think it’s the type of place where you need to know the locals to get to the cool spots. Or it’s just complete shit.

Back to LA where we had a blast; a day at the Santa Anita races, bike riding at Venice beach (on matching pink bikes no less!) Cocktails, giggling, sightseeing and relaxing by the pool.

It was time for My sister to leave for France. My baby sister was leaving to live in a foreign country on her OWN. She had left her boyfriend, her life, her family and was doing it, she made her dream come true. How gutsy is that? I’ve never been more proud and sad at the same time. I had grown accustomed to having her by my side day and night, I felt like I could breathe confidently again, like it was all OK as long as she was there, I’m fine on my own, quite content actually, but there is something so comforting and special about the bond between my sister and myself, I honestly feel like I can be my whole self when she’s there.

So now she’s done it. She’s happy and loving her life in France. She left everything that was known to her and shook the fucking daylights out of her life. She refused to compromise on her happiness so she went for it, ran head first into the unknown and now she’s killing it. She’s smiling, happy, meeting great new people, being her charming gorgeous self and no doubt enchanting more people than I care to imagine.

My darling girl, the trip was so precious, you are so full of life and light that I can’t even articulate it properly.

You are the love of my life.

Big Sis xx

P.S It’s you and me, always.

It’s All Happening

• Bloody Hell! It’s 2011, when did that happen? My head is spinning off!
• Resolutions? Just be realistic my dears.
• If you haven’t been to Las Vegas then go, immediately! And invite me!
• Nothing worth having comes easily (OK, sometimes it does)
• Remember that there is the exception and the rule. Live by the rule, but always aspire to be the exception!
• People change. Sometimes it’s great, and sometimes it will kill you.
• While we are on the topic of resolutions –  If you are going to try a diet, and I am sure you are lovely just the way you are! But IF you are, then I recommend the South Beach diet. It’s tough the first few days, but the change is almost instantaneous, and that is SO encouraging! And if you need support I’m right here, promise!
• Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.
• Dog parks – totally new experience for me, a great place for meeting cute boys/men. But beware, they are usually OBSESSED with their dogs. Ugh
• Get rid of the pens that make your handwriting look ugly.
• If you are a guest, don’t show up empty handed, and offer to help.
• If you are having a shitty day, go to the nearest Anthrolpologie store and all will be well again, it’s so magic and swooney! You might find a nice new pen there.
• Focus on the love – send it out, be open to it, make people feel loved, love yourself.
• A watched phone will never ring, and a watched inbox will never receive mail.
• Kiss a cute boy with a lip piercing on New Years Eve on the strip in Las Vegas. Awesome awesome awesome, yes!
• Write thank you notes and letters, keep it alive people!
• Keep a notebook with you at all times so you can write down any lightbulb moments throughout your day.
• Yes Yes, I know you are terrified but please for the love of God take the plunge already! Cut your hair, change you job, take the trip, kiss the babe, say what you think (tactfully and respectfully of course!) make the call, go to the Doctor, paint your toenails, break-up.
• You are an adult and that means you can do anything you want!

Charmed

It is my pleasure to present to you the first negative comment I’ve ever received on this wee Blog of mine:

“Grow up…you’re a flake. The future is going to disappoint you.” – Random Guy

Yikes!

I must have really annoyed this guy to warrant him actually taking the time to write something so negative, Or perhaps he’s concerned? Who knows!

Rather being all offended, this comment got me thinking;

So, ‘Random Guy’ (and all other ‘random guys’ out there) maybe I will be disappointed by the world, maybe I won’t, maybe I really will find that big love, and maybe I won’t. But I think in this life all we really have is hope. You never can tell whats around the corner! 

I’m amused you think I’ll be let down, but isn’t that my lesson to learn? I cannot believe you had the audacity to try and rain on my possibly unrealistic parade. I can criticise myself quite sufficiently thank-you very much, I don’t need some stranger taking amateur shots, I’m a seasoned pro, I’m a  female!

And you know what? What if life does hand me lemons? Then I’ll find a great recipe, and I’ll make the best lemonade you EVER tasted! Because if I don’t make lemonade (and believe me, sometimes I just wanna do tequila shots)  then I’ll probably put on a pair of awful track pants with an elastic waist and curl up in a corner and die, because sometimes its horribly lonely out here, and you feel like your just sort of floating along, but sometimes you feel amazed. And in those moments, you somehow just know that it’s all going to be OK.

Oh, and ‘Random Guy’ – nice move owning your shit. What a fucking coward.

Sending love to all of those who have been so incredibly supportive.

Jecca xx

Fairytales?

Last Sunday was spent with family friends who have small children, so we made a fort/nest on the living room floor and watched Disney movies all day, I bloody LOVE Disney, so I was in my element!

We watched The Little Mermaid, and it got me to thinking, does this actually exist? The all encompassing love, The kind of love that Taylor Swift sings about (my god I want to live in one of her music videos, it’s all cute boys and lovely long curly hair, with perfectly applied red lipstick!)

Can it exist in the modern times we live in? The GREAT love that totally and completely blinds you, like WHAM, you’re in LOVE! 

I mean, my parents have a great marriage, and are still very happy 28 years later, but that’s becoming very rare these days!  

I’m pretty sure it exists, and I hold on to the hope that I will one day find it. I guess all you can really do is keep putting yourself out there, and jump in with both feet, let go of the cynicism and just hope that the Universe has a master plan, or something! SOMETHING! 

Anyone want to share a story of  love? Go on, keep us all believing!

Jecc xx

Dudes! Yes!

I have no idea what’s happened to me, I’ve gone a bit boy mad these past few days.

I think about boys constantly, not any one boy in particular, just boys in general.

It's just too much!

To be honest I believe it was my trip to Venice Beach last week, I think it has physically changed me forever. And yes, it was that amazing. There was more boy man candy than you could fathom! It was like, dudes of every shape and size were there, cute ones, preppy ones, pierced ones, long-haired ones, jerk ones, singing ones, tattooed ones, homeless ones, dudes riding bikes, hotttt dudes, life saver dudes (whom I actually spoke to, squeal!)

Just boys and dudes and men everywhere, it was like…like the possibilities were endless! Endless acres of boy man eye candy.

Ahhhhh, Manliness.

My friend and I were talking about dudes, and our favorite body part of the dude, I personally am a back person. Oh yes, I LOVE a good back. All muscley and lovely. My friend likes the hands, particularly if they are musicians hands. We weren’t being lewd or dirty, just simply appreciating the dude-ness. Now, I know you understand what I am talking about, and I have referred to it before, it’s that wonderful, intoxicating power of dude-ness. That power that leaves you high, giddy and makes you do things you wouldn’t normally do, like giving your number to your super cute and witty waiter in the hope that he would call, when in reality you are just left giggling and blushing like a total fuckwit! And then  he doesn’t call, but that’s cool because you are so fucking high from all of the other dude-ness that’s EVERYWHERE that you barely notice you got denied!

!!

It ‘s intoxicating, dangerous and probably the coolest thing ever, it’s like magic! MAGIC! But not like that weirdo Criss Angel Mindfreak dude…ugh, no magic there at all!

I’ve got a feeling that this new sense of ease around guys has something to do with the fact that I’m traveling, I have a lovely flippant attitude, if you like me then cool, but if not, then cool too, and I don’t care because I’m moving around so much and feel so completely free that I don’t actually have time to worry about you!

Am I being understood here, or is it just me?

Don’t leave me hanging sisters!

Yours,

The completely boy-mad Jecca xx

The Best Things In Life Are Free

I was having a rough couple of days:

• I was stressing about moving away
• Feeling depressed and overwhelmed about moving away when I should have been excited
• I had a fight with a good friend and now he won’t return my calls
• My little Brother (who I adore unconditionally) flaked on me and wasn’t coming home to say goodbye to me, Like any 19-year-old male he chose to stay away and party with his buddies. I was absolutely crushed. Crushed!

And then my little brother he walked through the front door last night.

And he made my day/year.

I clung to him and cried like a baby, I was so happy, overwhelmed, and shocked that my family had managed to pull a fast one on me!

Family will save your life and make it all better.

I love you so much

Jecc xx

He Tastes Like You, Only Sweeter

I had my leaving party on Friday night, and for some reason I drank WAY too much, I think I’m possibly internally freaking the FUCK OUT!

But it was a fun night, all of my favorites were there, we danced and laughed and Mum made drunken snack food for all of us at 1am, Mum’s are the best!

The only glitch was a fight with one of my best dude friends (more of a disagreement actually), we have been friends since we were 15 and he’s recently engaged. He has completely fallen off the radar. Completely. Which has made me feel unloved and neglected by him. Believe me when I say, I DON”T want him for myself, I just want him to be happy, truly I do…but I question his happiness, I know I shouldn’t and I should just take it for what it’s worth and leave it be. But, me being me decided to call him out on his bullshit friend behavior (why not poke the Bees nest? Idiot!)

He thought I was unreasonable and didn’t understand ONE bit where I was coming from, like I was some stranger who had NO right to say these things to him, he was all condescending and snobby and rude, not the person I remember.  It  ended with me walking away in tears and him leaving, and giving me the shittiest most unloving hug I have ever received…like he was going to see me tomorrow, like I’m not leaving for a long time.

I’m trying so so hard to not fall to pieces over this and just accept that I cannot change other people’s behavior, only my own, but sometimes you just want to SHAKE people, you know what I mean? Shake them and go WAKE UP you fucking moron!!

I just don’t know, I’m at such a loss over this, I think I just need to let it go, people change and sometimes I think you just need to let them go. It’s very hard but I think it’s for the best.

Let it go.

Sigh.

I Want To Kiss You, But If I Do Then I Might Miss You Babe.

• Don’t be rude to your waiter/waitress, what are you, stupid!? They handle your food.
• Go for a walk in the rain and jump in puddles, it’s SO fun!
• Make plans, always have something to look forward to, you might die of boredom otherwise!
• Say please and thank you
• Keep in touch with your friends, make the effort
• Good Sex will cure 90% of your mental issues. For serious.

• Just because you are kinda seeing someone does not mean your life and responsibilities have to go on the back burner, make it on YOUR terms, yeash, grow a back bone!
• If you are hooking up with a dude and he tells you from the beginning that’s it’s only fun then he means it, don’t secretly hope that he will fall in love with you. You don’t want to fall in love with the guy who says “this is just fun”
• Don’t talk about how much money you have, you fucking jerkface! In fact don’t talk about money at all, it’s SO crass.
• Don’t get into physical fights, it makes you look like an asshole/if you do then you are an asshole!
• Be open to the possibility that you just might fall in love, c’mon man, don’t be so closed off and scared! Ya big baby. It’s just LOVE, Not like, AIDS or something. You will recover if it all turns to Hell, and if not, there’s always Vodka!
• It’s not very often that you meet new people who are genuinely great and amazing, people who you just click with – but when you do it will light you up, hold on to that for dear life.
• Be nice to people
• Learn to use a knife and fork properly you crazy wild animal!
• Have sexxx with foreigners, and if you can, get them to talk dirty to you in their native tounge while you do it, it’s the hottest thing EVER, go on! EVERYBODY is doing it. It’s the new black.

Love Jecca xx

Dates (not the fruity kind)

Dating.

Daaaaaating.

DATING!

Dating is FUN, and because it’s not really customary in New Zealand it’s a HUGE deal when a dude invites you out on a  date!

But I think that ‘first date’ rules are utter bollocks, all three of the serious relationships I’ve had have come from first date sex or one-night-stand-turns-into-a-relationship-sex. How does that happen when there are shitloads of info, books etc on the subject of ‘the rules’? Here’s how, the rules suck.

I think the only valid ‘rule’ is not being too stalkery/creepy in the very beginning. If you meet someone and you feel that frisson of excitement, ya know, that feeling of ‘this might actually go somewhere’ then GO FOR IT, right now, stop watching the Hills and go for it! If you die tomorrow you will be pretty pissed you didn’t go for it!

It might turn to shit, it might be lovely, you might get to have sex! The unknown is SO exciting.

Rob? Yes Please!

On another note, I have a date on Saturday night with a very cute and adorable Czech guy, I blush every time I see him. Gotta love the FRISSON!!

Love Jecc xx