VD (Valentine’s Day)

February 13, 2010

Can you tell already that I’m cynical as hell about VD this year?  And Yes, I am referring to Valentines Day as VD because to me, this year it evokes nothing but a likeness to Venereal Disease (VD) I’m clever huh? Groan, anyways, moving right along… 

Let’s take a wee trip down memory lane…close your eyes…hush.

This time last year I was living in New York and it was bloody freezing! I was having a blast, roaming around the West Village, drinking way too much and just generally having a good time. My Boyfriend (now Ex) was patiently waiting at home for me (in New Zealand), bless him.  I was trying very hard not to focus on the fact that Valentines day was so close, it made me miss him terribly. Anyways, VD rolled around and I was frantic at work, then next thing I know a bouquet of white Lilies are delivered to me! My Favorite! Now, it wasn’t so much that I got flowers at all, it was that my Ex got off his ass in time to organise having flowers delivered to me across the other side of the world, and he remembered what my favorite flower was, I was so touched by the gesture – it was one of the nicest things that has happened to me. Needless to say there were tears, much jumping around and a voicemail to him at 5am New Zealand time.

Nice little triperoo down memory lane huh? I tell you, it’s nice to remember the good things after a break-up, because the good things did exist!

I figure that all of my Valentines Day karma has been used up now, so this year the drinking will begin after I roll out of bed, first thing in the morning. I’m gonna get dressed up and wear a gorgeous head band, drink loads of Red wine and nonchalantly wait around by the front door just in case the mail man has a ‘special’ package to deliver.       

P.S – To all the Dudes, it’s really quite simple, flowers go a LONG way, just the gesture alone will do you in good stead – it’s quite simple! So get off your ass and get your Special Lady some flowers!

 

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A few weeks back my Sister and I went and had dinner with our gorgeous friends Holly and Ella who were also at home staying with their family for the Summer break.

Dinner was eaten at twilight sitting in their Dad’s back garden,  it was a perfect night. We drank wine, talked excitedly, smoked their Dad’s cigarette’s, let off lanterns (how magical!) and exchanged Christmas presents.

The girls gave me the Killers DVD Live at the Royal Albert Hall.

Now, I haven’t listened to the Killers since we broke up, and that night was the first time I had heard them in 3 months, and let me tell you, it was like coming back into the light.

I had tears in my eyes as we let off lanterns in the dark and Brandon Flowers sang “And my eyes don’t see you no more.” It was a perfect moment of pure happiness, pure happiness knowing that I was now officially happy and over him.

My friend Jon in New York used to mock me for loving the Killers so much, until he actually had a proper listen, and then became a convert – he used to ask me if I was a ‘human’ or a ‘dancer’ (to those of you who have no idea what I am talking about, here is the video for Human – listen to the lyrics)

So, what are you? Human or Dancer? I used to tell Jon that I was human but now I think I’m a dancer – and I love it.

The Killers - The Best Band ever!

Thanks to my girls for all of your support and bringing me back into the Light.

Love Jecc xx

Holy Shit, It’s 2010!

January 3, 2010

Lordy Lordy,

It’s 2010, the year that I thought would never come, the year that we were supposed to have magic flying cars and eat food in pill form! Sadly, we don’t have flying cars, but we do have the internet, so all of you poor bastards out there can read my random thoughts and rants (and hopefully have a giggle along the way)!

So, did you have a great New Years eve? Pash any babes? Drink too much?  Tell me your stories…go on, I tell you all of mine.

I had a great one, I spent it with about 20 of my oldest and closest friends at a beach in the lovely Hawkes Bay. We drank, we laughed, we danced, I might have cried, might have. I didn’t pash anyone – there weren’t any suitable candidates. I’m not dropping my standards for no body.

Got any New Years resolutions? I don’t, all I want is to move on, and properly get over him and all the stuff that went with the break up. Enough is enough. Oh, and to continue being healthy and going to the gym, and pashing tall dark handsome men (that’s a whole other story, keep checking back).

Apparently he knows about this blog now and has read it, at least I think so. I have been very nice to him thus far, but in light of recent events, I have to say:

I HOPE YOU AND YOUR NEW GIRLFRIEND ARE VERY HAPPY AND THAT YOUR PROPENSITY TO CHEAT AND HER PROPENSITY TO BE A HOMEWRECKER DON’T COMPROMISE YOUR BRIGHT AND HAPPY FUTURE. GOOD LUCK TO YOUR NEW RELATIONSHIP. FUCKERS.

 

Phew, that feels better, I’m probably going to regret that. But hey, it’s 2010!

Good luck for 2010 lovers – and remember don’t fall asleep at the Wheel!

xx

 

Day 5, Ugh

November 2, 2009

man-walking-away

I write this sitting in my sisters flat, in the spare room/cupboard.

I used to live in this flat, and this room used to be his office – the irony of this didn’t strike me until 3 days after I had moved in, there was no chance of sleep that night. This pissed me off because I was actually attempting to sleep unaided by alcohol or the heavy tranquilizers my Mum had given me. So, I popped a pill and waited for sleep to give my lonely shoulders a hug, and it must have because I did wake up eventually, albeit groggy and disorientated.

I absolutely love that blissful 3 seconds when you wake up and you don’t remember what’s happened, then reality comes along, cautiously taps you on the shoulder and says (very politely I might add) “good morning, sorry to bother you, but I’ve got some quite shit news….”

Here is what runs through my head in the next 10 seconds:

He cheated,

It’s real

We broke up

He isn’t attracted to me anymore (yes, he actually said this)

Am I really that fat?

I think I have a pretty face

Must go to the gym today

I have to work

Please don’t cry at my desk again.

I want my Mum

Would Holly marry me?

How did he do that?

It’s real

It’s real

It’s REAL.

I wish I wasn’t sad

The day wears on, I go to work, it rains, I laugh a few times which was really nice, and my friend Laura from work buys me Miso soup (I have only just started eating again and it was DE -LISH.) It turns out Vodka isn’t the breakfast (or lunch or dinner) of champions, it’s the breakfast of the broken hearted. I really had to get on.

I heard that He had gone through two bottles of Whiskey and other various things over the weekend, that’s a mammoth effort even for him “Hello path of destruction, I might take a stroll if you wouldn’t mind.”

I have to mention here that my girlfriends Holly, Ella, Jessica and my sister Chloe saved my life on that awful day. They ditched work, let me cry, fed me Vodka, took it away again,  packed me up, and then installed me in the spare cupboard at Chloe and Jessica’s flat – even though I’m horribly anally retentive to live with, and bossy.

Chloe is the best sister ever. For a few days I felt like I could breathe again with her by my side, she was the only person I wanted to talk to. I even suggested she try and work remotely and come and sit at my desk with me…a completely unrealistic request – the wonderful thing is that she tried to make it happen, no questions asked.

Cry, Baby

October 28, 2009

I hadn’t cried for 5 days. 5 whole days without crying, Progress? Yes P-lease!

tears

The unfortunate thing is that in order to not cry, I have to either A) stay super busy or B) watch TV and allow my mind be pointed in another direction (My mind wanders too easily with books, which sucks because I LOVE reading)

Here a few pointers for avoiding the crying (and just generally moving on)
1. Don’t listen to the music you used to listen to together, let yourself feel better before you do that. I haven’t been able to listen to the Killers or Death Cab, and I won’t be listening to them for a LONG time.

2. Get obsessed with a new TV show/Movie/Book, make sure it has a really hot boy/girl in it, at least you will have someone else to think about/daydream about – because lets be realistic, it is always so nice to have somebody to think about, even if they are a Vampire…oh yes, I went there.

3. Get into a new band/start listening to different music – get yourself out of your ‘music rut.’ I recently went and saw (500) Days of Summer and am obsessed with the soundtrack (The Temper Trap, squeal!) believe me, it is SO nice not to have memories of him/her attached to the music. And as silly as this may sound, you will have something all of your own – new memories.

4. Don’t over eat.

5. Stay surrounded by great friends, let yourself talk about it. I would not have survived if it wasn’t for the daily texts, phone calls  and emails asking simply “how are you today?” It means the world, possibly more.

6. Avoid too much alcohol (Well, so they say. I prefer to not listen this advice)

7. If you are having trouble sleeping, chamomile tea is helpful and so are sleeping pills, because realistically, you probably still need to work and function as a normal human being – this can’t be done without sleep.

8. Look after yourself – within 2 days of my breakup I had cut off my hair, had a massage and a facial.  I looked great (even If I barely remember getting my hair cut and then freaking out afterwards…Vodka for Breakfast is a BAD idea) But I love my hair now.

9. Lean on your family. My family helped more than they will know, thanks for the hugs and sleeping pills Mum, thanks for the words of advice Dad, Buzz, you did so well for an 18 year old, thanks for letting me soak you shoulder in tears.  Chloe, you know already, but you are my sunshine.

10. Don’t say anything you will regret, no one likes the crazy ex, everyone loves the calm and mature ex – and this makes him/her look like an even bigger asshole, because you look so per-fect. Note: this will probably only work if he/she fucked it up, not you!