Charmed

November 17, 2010

It is my pleasure to present to you the first negative comment I’ve ever received on this wee Blog of mine:

“Grow up…you’re a flake. The future is going to disappoint you.” – Random Guy

Yikes!

I must have really annoyed this guy to warrant him actually taking the time to write something so negative, Or perhaps he’s concerned? Who knows!

Rather being all offended, this comment got me thinking;

So, ‘Random Guy’ (and all other ‘random guys’ out there) maybe I will be disappointed by the world, maybe I won’t, maybe I really will find that big love, and maybe I won’t. But I think in this life all we really have is hope. You never can tell whats around the corner! 

I’m amused you think I’ll be let down, but isn’t that my lesson to learn? I cannot believe you had the audacity to try and rain on my possibly unrealistic parade. I can criticise myself quite sufficiently thank-you very much, I don’t need some stranger taking amateur shots, I’m a seasoned pro, I’m a  female!

And you know what? What if life does hand me lemons? Then I’ll find a great recipe, and I’ll make the best lemonade you EVER tasted! Because if I don’t make lemonade (and believe me, sometimes I just wanna do tequila shots)  then I’ll probably put on a pair of awful track pants with an elastic waist and curl up in a corner and die, because sometimes its horribly lonely out here, and you feel like your just sort of floating along, but sometimes you feel amazed. And in those moments, you somehow just know that it’s all going to be OK.

Oh, and ‘Random Guy’ – nice move owning your shit. What a fucking coward.

Sending love to all of those who have been so incredibly supportive.

Jecca xx

  • Don’t be rude to your waiter/waitress, what are you, stupid!? They handle your food.
  • Go for a walk in the rain and jump in puddles, it’s SO fun!
  • Make plans, always have something to look forward to, you might die of boredom otherwise!
  • Say please and thank you
  • Keep in touch with your friends, make the effort
  • Good Sex will cure 90% of your mental issues. For serious.

  • Just because you are kinda seeing someone does not mean your life and responsibilities have to go on the back burner, make it on YOUR terms, yeash, grow a back bone!
  • If you are hooking up with a dude and he tells you from the beginning that’s it’s only fun then he means it, don’t secretly hope that he will fall in love with you. You don’t want to fall in love with the guy who says “this is just fun”
  • Don’t talk about how much money you have, you fucking jerkface! In fact don’t talk about money at all, it’s SO crass.
  • Don’t get into physical fights, it makes you look like an asshole/if you do then you are an asshole!
  • Be open to the possibility that you just might fall in love, c’mon man, don’t be so closed off and scared! Ya big baby. It’s just LOVE, Not like, AIDS or something. You will recover if it all turns to Hell, and if not, there’s always Vodka!
  • It’s not very often that you meet new people who are genuinely great and amazing, people who you just click with – but when you do it will light you up, hold on to that for dear life.
  • Be nice to people
  • Learn to use a knife and fork properly you crazy wild animal!
  • Have sexxx with foreigners, and if you can, get them to talk dirty to you in their native tounge while you do it, it’s the hottest thing EVER, go on! EVERYBODY is doing it. It’s the new black.

Love Jecca xx

Oh No You Didn’t

November 23, 2009

Today a work colleague told me that I should try online dating.

A red mist appeared before my eyes and all I wanted to do was run head first into the nearest wall.

Hiss!

“Oh no, someone is single, they must be so unhappy and so desperate for a man they will do ANYTHING.”

Needless to say, someone’s stationary is going to go ‘missing’ from their cubicle. Ha, that’s right you fucking moron, the line has been drawn and I have more time on my hands now that I am single, more time to plot and plan and take you down.

This is going to be EPIC.