Stuck, Or Something.

This quote absolutely describes where my mind has been these last few weeks, I almost wept when I saw that someone else could articulate the way I’ve been feeling:

“I don’t think I’m tangible to myself. I mean, I think one thing today, and I think another thing tomorrow. I change during the course of a day. I wake up and I’m one person, and when I go to sleep I know for certain I’m somebody else. I don’t know who I am most of the time. It doesn’t even matter to me.”

— Bob Dylan

 

Like and Love

Tim Walker (of course!)

• It is 100% OK to Google a word before you communicate on Facebook, spelling errors are VERY embarrassing
• Don’t give a compliment unless you mean it, people know when your being fake!
• If you ever act like an entitled little bastard, I’ll find you, and I’ll hurt you. For serious
• If you continue to bend over backwards for everybody else, you WILL forget how to stand up straight
• You can make things as simple or as complicated as you like, try not to over think, obsess, or procrastinate – just get on with it!
• Getting lost is the best way to discover new and amazing places
• Keep up on your life admin; reply to emails, write letters and organise your photos, otherwise it’s just going to be a huge diabolical mess.
• It’s OK to exaggerate, it normally makes for a better story, especially if your life is suuuuper boring
• Dudes who work on boats are gorgeous by default
• Find someone to marry whose last name is Darling or Doll, imagine if that was your last name! Happiness, 1950’s style!
• Sometimes you need to talk to strangers. 99% of the time nothing bad will happen, just learn to read the situation
• You are awfully cruel if someone confesses their Like/Love for you and you don’t let them know where they stand.
• When friends from home come to visit you overseas, your gonna have a riot of a time!

Jecca xx

There Goes Your Fear, Let It Go

So I had been thinking about Mr. Swooney a lot. I had seen him recently and he made my stomach go all wriggly, to be honest I was surprised! I’m trying to stay free and unattached. My travel plans change rapidly and I’m all over the place, so I try to keep things simple. 

But honestly, if I meet the right guy, I could easily change my plans.  

So for the first time in my life I took a shot, leapt off the edge, went for it, took the plunge, put myself out there. And all of those bold and brave things.

I sent him a cute and witty message, it was to the point and no pressure. I basically said I thought he was a great guy and I liked hanging out with him, that I was interested and bla bla bla.

It’s been 2 weeks and I haven’t heard a thing.

Not a peep, Zip, Nien, Nada, Nothing.

Now, I do know he is painfully shy, so could this be it? Could my casual message still have freaked him out? Sent him packing never to be seen again? Is he now living in a shack in Timbuktu, hiding under the covers drinking whiskey? Who knows?! Maybe I never will.

And here is the worst part, the part ALL of you can relate to, I have INSTANTLY gone to the place of ‘he think’s I’m fat and ugly.’ My self-worth has plummeted. Instant self blame.

But I’m fighting this horrid natural inclination with everything I have. I just have to let it be, not over analyse and just trust that there is a reason why this didn’t work out (it better be a fucking good one)

I’m not going to be set back by this, I still have faith in Love/Lust/One night stands.

It was actually kinda cool putting myself out there, try it, I DARE you.

Better to know than be left wondering!

Jecc xx

When The Memories Of Me Seem More Like Bad Dreams

I just turned 26, and it’s been exactly a year since the break up.

When I was younger I had some pretty cookie-cutter ideas about what 26 should look like.  Fortunatley my reality is quite different from my younger, idealistic fantasy. 

And you know what…

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Lalalalalala

 Jecca xx

Missed

I am not one

To dramatically promise

That I will never love again

But you were automatic as milk in my coffee

Didn’t realise how essential you were to me

Until you were gone

Waking up without you

Brings tears to my eyes

Five years after I left you

I still don’t like my coffee black

– Karlo Mila

 

Don’t Be A Stranger

Hello my darlings!

God, it’s been far too long, and I have so much to tell you.

Unfortunately, this is just a quick check-in to let you know I am here and I am alive. Because I been traveling about the countryside I haven’t had the time (or the facilities for that matter) to actually sit and write.

New posts are on the way/In the making!

Your long-lost Jecc xx