This Living

December 14, 2010

via dustjacketattic

“I don’t want to have to do this living. I just walk around. I want to be swept off my feet, you know? I want my children to have magical powers. I am prepared for amazing things to happen. I can handle it.”

– ‘Me & You & Everyone We Know’

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Chatterbox

December 10, 2010

  • Guess what? YOU have the ability to change your mind. Gasp! I know I know, totally new idea right?
  • Spoon with a person you just met, especially a cute one!
  • Hey YOU, yes YOU, stop eating with your fucking disgusting mouth open. 
  • Have you written your Christmas cards? Do it right now! Don’t be such a grinch-slacker!
  • No baby talk thank you very much, you’re adult and you’re making me sick.
  • Sneakers and jeans? Sure, wear them if you want, but don’t expect to get laid ever again.
  • Put your phone away – I absolutely do not want to see a photo slide show of your stupid DOG. No no, really, I don’t fucking care.
  • There is no magical fix for anything, the sooner you realise this the better.
  • Dress appropriately for your body type, it won’t automatically look good on you if it’s in fashion, find a way to make it work for you or don’t wear it at all.
  • Are you moisturising your whole body like I told you to AGES ago?
  • Don’t whine, please please just shut up and stop whining.
  • For guaranteed smiles get some photos developed and stick them all around the place.
  • Try to avoid keeping your social life restricted to the weekends, do fun stuff during the week too, I don’t care if your tired, your making ME tired with all of this complaining.
  • Ummm, sorry, but is that an ugly pair of knickers I see in your drawer? Dispose of them right now, there is only time for cute underwear in this life – that way you can be prepared at all times for sex/accidental Marilyn Monroe moments. Dudes, this applies to you too.
  • If you make the choice to forgive someone then you are the asshole if you bring it up in future arguments.
  • Advent calendars make it socially acceptable to eat chocolate for breakfast.
  • No no, tights are not pants, if I can see your crotch you’ve got it all wrong.
  • Stop trying so hard. I’m sure your cool enough to just be yourself!
  • 87 cups of green tea and a face mask will not reverse the effects of your alcohol binge from last night, but it’s peace of mind nonetheless –  and there’s a small chance it’s doing something.
  • If it takes you more than 2 weeks to reply to a message on Facebook or an email, then you are a bad friend. Take the 2 minutes to reply, even if just to say “I’m so sorry, my house blew up and I broke both of my hands, so I’m using my nose to type, will write back properly in a few weeks.”
  • In this life not everyone is going to like you. I know, it sucks because your totally rad. 
  • Give your Mum a break, she gave birth to you! Do you have any idea how painful that was?
  • If someone wants to do something nice for you then stop protesting and just let them.
  • Smile darling.

Jecca xx

For Today I’ll Be Hyde

December 2, 2010

Sometimes I have to really push down the cynical bastard inside myself and put a fucking smile on it.

And sometimes in my shittiest moments –  when my brain is totally out of control and at its most destructive, I read over my optimistic posts of love and life and wonder who the fuck that person is? I cringe. And yea, most of the time life is good, and I feel genuinely happy and get butterflies in my stomach about how incredibly amazing the world is and how much I love my life. And sometimes you just…barely understand how you felt yesterday, or even an hour ago.

Because sometimes you just need to revel in the cynicism. Revel, roll and laugh with the cynicism, it’s an old friend who’s come to visit who encourages you to drink too much Vodka. He’s the kind of friend who is fantastic in short doses. But my God, don’t you just have so much fun together?!

You roll your eyes at couples holding hands and groan when you hear about another engagement, Because honestly, the cynics are  always the funniest, and most honest. Truly they are!

You spend your days plugging away at being a decent person, hoping and doing all you can to get the Life, get it all, and getting it looking the way you want.

But sometimes it just seems impossible and difficult and you just want to switch it all off and watch a movie.

And then your old friend cynic pours you a delicious glass of wine, lights you a cigarette and tells you to just relax. He has to be going now, and yes he’ll come and visit again sometime. He doesn’t know when, he’ll just show up whenever he feels like it. And you say that’s OK because you’ve never had so much fun.

Jecc xx