Skipping Days

September 4, 2011

It’s been awhile…

I’ve been living my life offline these last weeks. Things are busy and moving forward, and I also turn 27 on Tuesday, so I’m kinda hiding from that reality.

Here are some thoughts/light bulb moments from the past few weeks that have come from interesting conversations and people observing.

  • It’s about quality NOT quantity – this applies to everything, including hook-ups.
  • Stop saying no – get off the couch
  • Talk to everyone, and most importantly, LISTEN!
  • Make sure your eyebrows are always perfect…they frame your beautiful face!
  • Don’t jump to conclusions – wait until you hear first hand
  • If your electronic self is better than your real life self you should work on that.
  • Everyone deserves a few chances, stop being such a hard-arse!
  • No matter what your age is, your Mother has the ability to make you feel like a 7-year-old who got caught with their hand in the cookie jar.
  • A little bit of modesty goes a very long way
  • Dylan Moran is the most hilarious comedian – watch some of his stuff.
  • Yes, I know, it’s September – I’m just as surprised as you are!
  • That feeling, when you are kissing and you realize you’ve stopped breathing. Yea THAT. Live for those moments
  • If a friend calls you in a time of need and you don’t pick up the phone/make time for them, your an asshole. Yea, hate yourself.

Jecc xx

So you walk around doing nothing but your best. Being kind, working hard, playing by the rules, loving openly without restrictions and just generally trying to keep everything above water. But sometimes, despite your best efforts people will treat you like shit; they will demean you and act below the line of acceptable behavior.

Before you go off and blame yourself  just remember: some people are just miserable bastards. They just are, and there is nothing you can do about it. Don’t lower yourself to their level. Tell yourself you are loved, remind yourself it’s their problem and not yours and move on! Tomorrow is a new day!

And you know what? Take pity on that miserable bastard, because no matter what they won’t be satisfied with anything. You stop to smell the roses and know what genuine happiness is. So hold onto that, you are already 10 steps ahead!

And I know sometimes it’s hard, and it hurts, but please, don’t ever let the miserable bastards get you down!

Love Jecca xx

 

Walk Away

May 10, 2011

Ellen Von Unwerth

  • You always meet the most interesting/coolest people in the smoking section.
  • Jealousy is very very ugly, try to hide it/control it.
  • There is no need to tell someone the negative things others have said about them!
  • Dudes – if you’re crushing on a girl then don’t talk about the others girls you are supposedly texting/hooking up with.
  • Love transcends time, place, age, race and gender – if you feel the electricity then hang onto it!
  • There is a huge difference between bitching about something someone has done and just bitching about someone in general.
  • Release the choker hold or you will drive him/her away!
  • It’s a lovely sentiment, but you can’t save everyone from themselves – you had to learn and so should they. Now turn and walk away.
  • Ever noticed the person who does the chasing normally does the dumping?
  • People are falling in love all the time, don’t feel left out – it’s just the universe weeding out the losers and mis-matches!

Love Jecca xx

Sometimes

April 11, 2011

And while you only sometimes let me see
tiny glimpses of you
It’s enough,
just enough,
to keep me awake at night
wondering who you are
– JL Knapp

X Marks The Spot?

February 26, 2011

Hi darlings!

Well, I’m back in LA and have been for about 2 months now. I’m looking for work and looking to establish a life here, major changes, but it’s great!

I’m on the job hunt and its positive but also getting pretty grueling. I’m all over the show, interviewing, trialling, smiling and selling myself like some awful Willy Loman type (for the record, I’m not a fan of sales people – the ghastly kind anyway)  I’m exhausted. I’ve not slept properly in 2 weeks, I just need to relax, but I stay up until 5am running through every possible scenario in my head until my brain begins to steam! I am so hard on myself it’s unbelievable. I am 100% terrified of making the wrong decision and setting my life on the wrong course, well, I swing between that and trusting the universe and letting the master plan happen organically. Do I sound completely insane to you? Don’t answer that…I know already.

And here’s the really crazy part, one particular job I’ve been trailing for is  close to perfect. Loads of travel, great perks and the financial side is great…but there are a few things that I don’t like and would have to make concessions for, quite big concessions actually, like my LIFE and free time. So now I’m questioning this option too, even though I have been begging the universe for this sort of opportunity. Believe me, I’m not afraid of hard work, and I’m not lazy, I guess I’m just making sure I’ve got every angle figured out.

Also, it’s proving difficult to meet people in LA,  I’m the type who will talk to anyone and love them immediately. I’ll offer my home, my life, my friends, my makeup, my car, whatever it is that will make that person’s life easier/make them feel loved. It just so happens this town isn’t used to that, don’t get me wrong, I’m meeting cool people…but then they are all so busy being cool and pretending to be SO important that the bullshit gets in the way of actually just getting on with the fucking job and having fun! But, in spite of this, I’ll continue to be kind, patient and send out the love, and hope that maybe, hopefully, eventually it will come back, in the form of someone who is genuine and RAD!

Anywho, I’m at a giant crossroads…and I’m feeling like I need a sign or something, and I keep hoping and doing all I can to make this choice but I’m so confused, to the point where my perspective is completely skewed.

Does anyone have any advice or ideas or stories? I could use any help!

Love Jecca xx

It’s All Happening

January 28, 2011

  • Bloody Hell! It’s 2011, when did that happen? My head is spinning off!
  • Resolutions? Just be realistic my dears.
  • If you haven’t been to Las Vegas then go, immediately! And invite me!
  • Nothing worth having comes easily (OK, sometimes it does)
  • Remember that there is the exception and the rule. Live by the rule, but always aspire to be the exception!
  • People change. Sometimes it’s great, and sometimes it will kill you.
  • While we are on the topic of resolutions –  If you are going to try a diet, and I am sure you are lovely just the way you are! But IF you are, then I recommend the South Beach diet. It’s tough the first few days, but the change is almost instantaneous, and that is SO encouraging! And if you need support I’m right here, promise!
  • Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.
  • Dog parks – totally new experience for me, a great place for meeting cute boys/men. But beware, they are usually OBSESSED with their dogs. Ugh
  • Get rid of the pens that make your handwriting look ugly.
  • If you are a guest, don’t show up empty handed, and offer to help.
  • If you are having a shitty day, go to the nearest Anthrolpologie store and all will be well again, it’s so magic and swooney! You might find a nice new pen there.
  • Focus on the love – send it out, be open to it, make people feel loved, love yourself.
  • A watched phone will never ring, and a watched inbox will never receive mail.
  • Kiss a cute boy with a lip piercing on New Years Eve on the strip in Las Vegas. Awesome awesome awesome, yes!
  • Write thank you notes and letters, keep it alive people!
  • Keep a notebook with you at all times so you can write down any lightbulb moments throughout your day.
  • Yes Yes, I know you are terrified but please for the love of God take the plunge already! Cut your hair, change you job, take the trip, kiss the babe, say what you think (tactfully and respectfully of course!) make the call, go to the Doctor, paint your toenails, break-up.
  • You are an adult and that means you can do anything you want!

Chatterbox

December 10, 2010

  • Guess what? YOU have the ability to change your mind. Gasp! I know I know, totally new idea right?
  • Spoon with a person you just met, especially a cute one!
  • Hey YOU, yes YOU, stop eating with your fucking disgusting mouth open. 
  • Have you written your Christmas cards? Do it right now! Don’t be such a grinch-slacker!
  • No baby talk thank you very much, you’re adult and you’re making me sick.
  • Sneakers and jeans? Sure, wear them if you want, but don’t expect to get laid ever again.
  • Put your phone away – I absolutely do not want to see a photo slide show of your stupid DOG. No no, really, I don’t fucking care.
  • There is no magical fix for anything, the sooner you realise this the better.
  • Dress appropriately for your body type, it won’t automatically look good on you if it’s in fashion, find a way to make it work for you or don’t wear it at all.
  • Are you moisturising your whole body like I told you to AGES ago?
  • Don’t whine, please please just shut up and stop whining.
  • For guaranteed smiles get some photos developed and stick them all around the place.
  • Try to avoid keeping your social life restricted to the weekends, do fun stuff during the week too, I don’t care if your tired, your making ME tired with all of this complaining.
  • Ummm, sorry, but is that an ugly pair of knickers I see in your drawer? Dispose of them right now, there is only time for cute underwear in this life – that way you can be prepared at all times for sex/accidental Marilyn Monroe moments. Dudes, this applies to you too.
  • If you make the choice to forgive someone then you are the asshole if you bring it up in future arguments.
  • Advent calendars make it socially acceptable to eat chocolate for breakfast.
  • No no, tights are not pants, if I can see your crotch you’ve got it all wrong.
  • Stop trying so hard. I’m sure your cool enough to just be yourself!
  • 87 cups of green tea and a face mask will not reverse the effects of your alcohol binge from last night, but it’s peace of mind nonetheless –  and there’s a small chance it’s doing something.
  • If it takes you more than 2 weeks to reply to a message on Facebook or an email, then you are a bad friend. Take the 2 minutes to reply, even if just to say “I’m so sorry, my house blew up and I broke both of my hands, so I’m using my nose to type, will write back properly in a few weeks.”
  • In this life not everyone is going to like you. I know, it sucks because your totally rad. 
  • Give your Mum a break, she gave birth to you! Do you have any idea how painful that was?
  • If someone wants to do something nice for you then stop protesting and just let them.
  • Smile darling.

Jecca xx

It had just been one of those shitty weeks. Everything absolutely sucked. YOU know what I’m talking about, you wake up all pissy and sad, and cannot do anything to pull yourself out of the gigantic black hole that you feel half consumed by.

I was struggling the most because I’m supposed to be loving life, I’m traveling and experiencing wonderful things. Unfortunately the reality is when you travel you still have moments of sadness or whatever, because guess what? You are traveling with YOU. You are the exact same person you have always been –  Just because you’re on a different continent doesn’t mean you’re a different person!

When things get this bad for me normally I take stock of what the problem is, give myself a decent pep talk, get some perspective and then rationality comes back and things go back to normal.

Not this time, Oh how I tried! Tried with all my might, but this was a biggie, I think I spent the entire week hanging onto the ledge by my fingernails, hoping to god I would eventually get the strength to pull myself back up.  

Well I did, and the clouds have cleared and I can see past the black dots now.

 Now,  it’s not like I have depression or anything, I’m not medicated, but about once a year this strange depression thing happens, and I think it’s a good thing. It’s a good thing because then I know I’m present and feeling something, keeping myself in check. I refuse to be on autopilot like a lot of people. My biggest fear is to wake up when I’m 35 and realise that I’ve been drifting through this life, showering, eating, working, sleeping and wondering where the fuck the last 10 years went…how awful and sad.

So, I’ve sort of realised that while there are things/people who may disappoint and anger you, let it be a lesson in how you want to live your life/ want your life to look like. Rise above it, feel what you need to feel because that is great, but always try to keep yourself in check, keep challenging and changing, because that is the only way that we really can learn anything at all.

And to my Godmother, on my darkest day, these few sentences saved me:

“Always there will be lows after highs, maybe think of it as a re-grouping bit of resting before the next adventure. If you let it get to you…it will be ten times the problem, and it is life that some people will always behave under the line of accepted behavior. No matter what you do. But let it be their failing and not your worry. I know just how hard this is, and how alone the situation can be. You will be gone to the next city and next bit of life before you know it.” – My Fairy Godmother

Oh! And of course, if your feeling that wretched, TALK to someone about it, it really really really does help. As they say, a problem shared is a problem halved.

Hang in there my darlings

Jecca xx

Stuck, Or Something.

October 29, 2010

This quote absolutely describes where my mind has been these last few weeks, I almost wept when I saw that someone else could articulate the way I’ve been feeling:

“I don’t think I’m tangible to myself. I mean, I think one thing today, and I think another thing tomorrow. I change during the course of a day. I wake up and I’m one person, and when I go to sleep I know for certain I’m somebody else. I don’t know who I am most of the time. It doesn’t even matter to me.”

— Bob Dylan

 

Like and Love

October 22, 2010

Tim Walker (of course!)

  • It is 100% OK to Google a word before you communicate on Facebook, spelling errors are VERY embarrassing
  • Don’t give a compliment unless you mean it, people know when your being fake!
  • If you ever act like an entitled little bastard, I’ll find you, and I’ll hurt you. For serious
  • If you continue to bend over backwards for everybody else, you WILL forget how to stand up straight
  • You can make things as simple or as complicated as you like, try not to over think, obsess, or procrastinate – just get on with it!
  • Getting lost is the best way to discover new and amazing places
  • Keep up on your life admin; reply to emails, write letters and organise your photos, otherwise it’s just going to be a huge diabolical mess.
  • It’s OK to exaggerate, it normally makes for a better story, especially if your life is suuuuper boring
  • Dudes who work on boats are gorgeous by default
  • Find someone to marry whose last name is Darling or Doll, imagine if that was your last name! Happiness, 1950’s style!
  • Sometimes you need to talk to strangers. 99% of the time nothing bad will happen, just learn to read the situation
  • You are awfully cruel if someone confesses their Like/Love for you and you don’t let them know where they stand.
  • When friends from home come to visit you overseas, your gonna have a riot of a time!

Jecca xx