Absolute Warmth And All Things Gorgeous

June 12, 2010

It’s a Saturday morning and I’m sitting in bed reading blogs, replying to emails and doing general  life administration things.

I have a coffee on my bedside table and the sun is shining.

Saturday morning is my favorite part of the week, the weekend is just beginning, and the two days you have ahead seem, well, endless. Anything could happen, How exciting!

I’m feeling very content these last few days, I did go through an anxious stage with Mr. Argentina, he was acting distant and I was going to let his behavior slide because we are having ‘fun’ and I don’t really know the rules, so I don’t know where I’m allowed to say anything or not. But I thought, NO, I am an adult, I’m just gonna ask him what’s up.

So I asked, he acted like a juvenile child. Denied everything, made me feel like an insane female…fucking HATE that trait in a guy, just OWN your shit man, don’t be passive aggressive, don’t turn it around on me. I was just asking out of concern. When your behavior changes, then it’s pretty obvious something is up! No, I’m not falling in love with you, I am a nice person and I was just concerned, relax dude!

So, I think this thing has run its course, it’s not just fun anymore, it’s getting a little more complicated, which is OK I guess, but not exactly ideal, AND if we keep hanging out the way we have been and acting like we have been (yes we act like a proper couple whenever we are together, and yes, it’s very confusing) then I’m probably gonna start having proper feelings for him, I tried to be distant, compartmentalise my feelings but it’s not that easy! I’m just not wired that way, but that’s OK, I know when enough is enough.

It doesn’t mean that I won’t check my phone every 10 seconds for the next few weeks, or get all whimsical about how much fun I had with him/how well we got along, BUT I do know I will be just fine.

But, nothing ventured nothing gained, You can’t live life locked in a cupboard, You have to just put  yourself out there and hope for the very best.

It is imperative that you do this, do you want to look back at your life and wonder…what if?

HELL TO THE NO!

Lady Jecca xx

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